Hayden Panettiere Opens Up About Fractured Family Ties, Brother's Death in New Memoir

Hayden Panettiere is pulling back the curtain on deeply personal struggles in her forthcoming memoir.

The Nashville star, 36, sat down to discuss her new book This Is Me: A Reckoning, arriving May 19, where she addresses family conflict, grief, and her own battles with substance abuse. Speaking with Us Weekly, Panettiere reflected on her current distance from her mother, Lesley Vogel, who previously managed her career.

"Unfortunately, we don't have a relationship right now. But that doesn't mean that I don't leave the door open for the opportunity to present itself one day," the actress shared.

Panettiere began her career as a child model at just 8 months old, eventually becoming a household name. In the memoir, she explores how demanding her mother was during those early years and uses the book as a vehicle for confronting those dynamics. She acknowledged feeling apprehensive about her mother's reaction to her candid reflections.

"This is my way of doing it," she explained, describing herself as "scared" of her mom at the time and uncertain whether her honest feelings would receive understanding.

The Heroes alum also addresses the tragic death of her younger brother Jansen, who struggled with addiction to crack and heroin. Having navigated her own substance abuse challenges, Panettiere attempted to support him through recovery.

"I got him into treatment. I had a standing appointment with his therapist, [and] I tried to give them as much advice as I could in order to be able to reach my brother mentally and make him want to heal and get better. I tried to do everything in my power, and then he didn't love treatment the way [I had]. I found so much peace there, whereas he felt like he was caged," she recounted.

Despite her efforts, Panettiere came to understand the limits of her influence. "I was willing to do anything to make sure that he was okay. But you realize that you can't love somebody out of a situation like that if they're not ready or willing to heal."

Learning of his death proved devastating. "I thought, 'Is this making it worse? How do I not know how to help him?' And then his death happened. Getting that call, it was like a punch in the gut, and I felt my mind just completely went blank," she said.

The passage of time hasn't eased the ache. "I never saw myself having to live my life without him," Panettiere reflected. She noted that while some find solace in feeling a departed loved one's presence, her own experience remains complicated. "It's still a struggle to combat the feeling of failure and guilt," she shared.

This Is Me: A Reckoning is available for pre-order now, with the official release set for May 19.